When Should We Have A Second Baby?


 There has been much research and debate on the topic. The reality is that the best time is when it’s the best time for you and your partner. And when nature allows. While we can make attempts to control this piece of our lives, the miracle of life will be when it will be. I don’t think any mother has ever or will ever feel that they are ready. It’s simply too exhausting to be a parent to feel rested, refreshed and ready to tackle another child. Just know that you can and you will be able to handle it. Some parents see it as double the work. In my experience, it was the same amount of work, and double the love. Everyone’s experience is different and as much as you think you will “know what to expect”, it will be different for everyone.

“There is evidence to suggest that a wider age spacing may facilitate older children’s personal adjustment when becoming a sibling. Later-born siblings may also benefit from a wide age span because their older siblings are more likely to provide them with an intellectually stimulating context for interaction. However, other factors, such as quality of children’s relationships with family members and friends, may be more strongly associated with sibling relationship quality, at least during childhood. These results argue against presenting parents with an “ideal” interval. As seen with the more recent parenting books, parents should be advised to plan their children in ways that best meet their families’s needs (Dunn, 1995; Wagner 1998), with the caveat to wait 6 months after the birth of a child to conceive again (Leonard, 2000). Parents should be informed about the many other factors shown to influence the development of prosocial sibling relationships, however , such as quality relationships with other family members and friends.”

I personally waited. My son had developmental delays and didn’t know if I could take on the additional responsibilities of another child or if it was even fair to bring another child into our family. When my clock started ticking, I just said it’s now or never. While I feel blessed and there are so many benefits to their age spacing, I do wonder what life might be like if both kids were actually in the same school for more than one year.



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